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“Secrets from the Matress”

“Secrets from the Matress”

Scoop Magazine – Edition 63 Autumn 2013

 Scoop Magazine   Scoop Magazine Edition 63  Autumn 2013

Please Note: Article in Scoop Magazine was edited for content/length. Read the full interview in its entirety below:

1. How has the increasing availability of pornography changed our expectations about sex? This is really a question for an anthropologist, however I will discuss the world as I saw it through my lens….. Once upon a time in the 80’s porn started out with this unique individual let’s call her “horney girl”. Horney girl, was such a vixen that when the young innocent pool boy came by she would seduce him, she would have oral sex with him, and seemed to really enjoy it. I remember these videos came from Canberra, if you sent away an order form for a catalogue, which was also only available if you ordered it from Canberra. Now adays, there is no plot to erotic films. Debasement does seem to be more popular than ever as a sexual genre. Visit lubetube, you are immediately given options (god forbid you should be forced to view any old porn, or boring bits like seduction. You have a drop-down box, fisting, B&D, cum shots, bi-girls, anal. No matter what you choose you will inevitably hear (if you bother to request sound), who’s a horney bitch, you love cock you naughty slut, or lines to the same affect. Slapping is also a common theme, and not to be left out, the odd loogy spat on a Brazilian labia. Modern porn is definitely a lot darker than 80’s porn, dare I say 50 shades darker? I did indeed notice that as the internet took hold and crept into our everyday lives male / clients requests seem to have become more brazen in their sexual desires. When I first started working in the 80’s requests were limited to French & doggly style, often referred to as “my fantasy is to…”. Carnalingus was a rare pleasure performed by clients, but by the 21st century perhaps 40% of clients asked permission to perform this act. In the twilight of my working days nothing was off limits it seemed; facial cum shots, anal, double penetration, spanking, chocking were everyday requests.

2. How are applications like AdultFriendFinder and Grindr, which make anonymous sex possible at the touch of a button, affecting the prostitution industry?

I am no longer in the frontline, cold face of the industry anymore, but still take a educated, research, advocacy position in all things concerning the sex industry. With that said, the question relates to casual anonymous sex. Previously this was the task of sex workers, and casual nightclub pick-ups, the later often being made possible by lies about relationship status and excess alcohol. Websites, apps, openness to “friends with benefits (often referred to blatantly as “fuckbuds”), diminish the need for sex workers. Please know that I am not saying that sex-work will become obsolete, it won’t, it never will, it will just be diminished. For example, the married guy seeking sexual variety was always limited to sex workers because office romances posed dangers (emotional and legal). Casual liaisons, were a lot of work, financially excessive (diner, drinks, hotel, etc) and rarely guaranteed. Now with the advent of these hook-up / anonymous websites all foreplay is done away with. No, I don’t want to get to know you better, no I do not want to buy you dinner, I simply want to fuck you. How beautifully honest! But hang on there’s more…… the cherry on this banana split is; IT’S FREE. Now given two options, 1) visit my favourite sex-worker who is $300 per hour. She is very sexy, but I have no delusion that she loves my money more that my sexual performance. More so she offers me thinly veiled platitudes about her arousal induced by me. Or option number 2) answer an ad on my ipad, who states “married woman seeks anonymous sex”. My goodness we are kindred spirits, she wants what I want, and asks for nothing in return. No $ just my dick. How mentally erotic and ego stroking is this option, not forgetting financially rewarding? The openness of this internet driven mutual exchange are twofold, often punters are able to scan ads for like-minded sexual acts. Thus eliminating the embarrassment of sexual rejection, for example a client/punter seeking anal sex may have to phone a number of working girls before he finds one prepared to satisfy his peccadillo. Of course this act will cost him extra, and he will know that the sex worker is perhaps performing under financial duress. Contrast this with option 2, where gentleman can scan ads until he finds one willingly requesting anal sex. “Horney golf widow loves double penetration”. The scales are now obviously tilted toward the merits of seeking casual sex through anonymous apps & websites.

3. Tell us about the reality versus the myth of being a sex worker.

How long is a piece of string? Every girl is different, we come to the industry via different highways and bi-ways, for different purposes with differing goals, different sexual standards so I can only speak for myself. The public have two visions of sex-work; glamorous high-end sexual escort or down and out street junkie. Please know these are not my words but a societal depiction. The reality or my experience is that the reality/majority lies firmly in-between those two extremes. She is the girl next door, the canteen mum, the nurse or school teacher who works one weekend a fortnight to subsidise her income. It’s the university student who can’t survive alone on ausstudy. As I write in my book, I once worked with a women who worked to pay for IVF, her husband dropped her off and picked her up. While he drove cabs at night. There is a plethora of reasons women choose to work in the sex industry, but children is more often than not the motivating factor. In my almost 20 years on the game I only remember working with a handful of girls with addictions to feed. Often once their addiction is exposed they are kicked out, attacked or quite simply sneak away silently. One interesting piece of sex-work mystique is our ability to work four weeks of every month without skipping a period and clients none-the-wiser. How we do that is a secret, you will have to buy my book to find out.

4. Three things people don’t realise about the sex industry.

Sort of covered that in the last question

5. What reforms do we need to see in making the industry safer, if any at all? Should it be made illegal?

Good luck with that! You mean like how cannabis is illegal so people stop using, or how everyone stopped drinking during the American prohibition? Ideally I would like to see some crack down on illegal workers some of whom are sex-work tourists from third world countries. My reasoning for this is that they expose the rest of the community to health consequences. Often they are the girls who will take more risks, such as natural French (condomless oral sex) and other such venereal roulette acts. The police are already aware of trafficked women who differ completely from the sex-work tourists. They are pure victims, and as such deserve our compassion. I do wonder how any client can not know what is going on or at least spell a rat when they respond to an ad for “$40 full service” and upon arrival are offered the option of no condom for a small additional fee. Just like the old adage, you do pay for what you get. 6. What messages do you hope people will take from the book you’ve written. My book is not a sex work parable, it is simply an honest an open look at the evolution of one young girl who went on to become a sex-worker (don’t ever use the word prostitute). As a sex worker she chose to get to the pinnacle of the industry and ply her trade all over the world to the rich and famous. It is a sad account of parental mental health, welfare short comings, discrimination and societal misogyny. It is also a witty account of some of the more eclectic clients and entertaining personalities of the girls to charge for their pleasure. In sum I see the book as a bit like Aladdin, finding an old, rusty dirty lamp, but with a bit of a touch up it can be something magical, beautiful, rich and a true treasure.

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