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Let me pose a question……..

Variety of dick is the spice of life….

Who has Indian food every night for dinner?
Do you go on holiday to the same hotel every year?
Ladies; had the same hair colour or style for more than ten years?
Chances are there is three straight no’s to the mini-quiz above.
But surely I am comparing apples and oranges when I compare my love life to where I decide to venture on my next Christmas vacation.
Do women who have never been sex-workers miss variety in their long term relationships?
spI saw this image recently and didn’t quite know whether to laugh or cry: only 10% of the British population have had sex with more than 21 people. Let me calculate my figure …. Fifteen years part time in the sex industry, let’s say I worked 100 days a year seeing three clients a day; that’s 300 X 100 = 30,000 (this does not include my personal life and in reality I would see more than five a day sometimes more than ten). So even with this modest calculation it would be safe to say that I have experienced more sexual variety than most. My cynical brain here would question… How much variety can one expect from a fairly standard act, let’s just say “the in-and-out-bit”? Surely there cannot be that many variation to this simple act! And yet, I know there is; there is the duration of this act, there is the talk that accompanies this act, there is the change of pace or the rhythm of this act, there is the facial expression that portrays every emotion or thought from “I’m loving this to I can’t hold on and all that lies in between. There is the element of assertiveness, who is running this show? Then there is the change of the position (on top, behind, on your side, girl on top), or even the geography of this act. The variations are endless and this is just for one elements of a seven scene performance.
In my book I draw the analogy of sex is akin to a Baskin & Robins shopping experience, while there is only 31 flavours, when you consider the toppings, the sprinkles or the cone options, dare I even mention the size of the scoop? The combinations are endless. So now that I am a long term married woman why does it feel like every time I step out for a frosty dessert I order the same flavour?
I had my pick of men in my life, from the super-rich to the super kind to the best sexual partner you could imagine, super handsome, super smart. I chose none of the above, I chose a man who complimented me, who suited me, whom I could trust, whom I could rely upon and who loved me for all the right reasons, who wanted the same things in life as I did, whom I could live with long term without boredom or frustration. I prioritised, and I am satisfied beyond belief. We have shared over ten marvellous years together and I am looking forward to thirty more. Yet I can’t help but feel that I am craving, not a whole new flavour of ice-cream, but maybe instead of hundreds-and-thousands sprinkled over my ice-cream perhaps some pistachios for a bit of a change. Maybe instead of a cup I may try a waffle cone?
I find myself staring at my handsome husband at night as we lie in bed, every inch of him still turns me on, his eyes his hanky hairy chest, his stubble, all of it still makes my heart skip a beat, and my hips start to rock. But then I think…… “Can I really be bothered? I know how it will start, I know all his moves, and I know how it will end.”
If I had not been spoiled for variety in my working days would I feel the same way today? So those British people who have had 6 sexual partners, how lucky must they be to have never known such diversity.
Lately my body and my conscience are fighting, “Go on Annika, get some variety”. Then my conscience starts in the other ear. “Oh no you don’t! Don’t be naughty, stick with what you know, don’t be a player like all those clients from years gone by, show that you can be more disciplined than them”.
Before you ask…… Yes I have had this conversation with my husband a hundred times, but he is a “when you find a good thing stick to it” sort of guy.
Please tell me that I am not alone in sexual boredom fellow ex-working girls or long term married women.

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