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ANZAC Day behind the red door……

Excerpt from Mattress Actress…….

ANZAC Day was always the busiest day of the year for phone calls. From eleven am you would start to get calls from sweet old drunk vetrans.

‘Hey love, you working today? I’m looking for a busty young thing about a size twelve. Do you think you can help?’

‘Sure let me give you the prices.’

‘What, darling, I can’t hear you, what did you say?’


‘Hello, is anyone there? I think the phone is broken, I can’t hear her.’ God bless them, ears didn’t work but their old fellas never skipped a beat. I rarely saw the old diggers, they generally wanted to spend $50 because that’s what they were used to spending in the good old days, so I was out of their league.  But it didn’t stop them from calling and trying to negotiate a ‘veterans/pensioner rate’.

The older clients were truly adorable. They always arrived with gifts in hand, usually of the traditional chocolate or flower variety, the naughtier clients with cheeky lingerie. More often than not they would leave with the question: ‘Do you fancy going to dinner with me one night? No funny business.’

‘Why, have you got a single grandson you want to introduce me to?’

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